I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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