im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
then he tried to convert me to islam
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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