I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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