That's intense
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
