did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
