Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
