left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
don't judge my taste in strippers
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
