An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
