Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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