Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
