Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
