i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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