Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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