I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
