Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
