Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i drank out of a bidet.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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