i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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