it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
