i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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