are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
