how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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