I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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