If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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