i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
