Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
