I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
