I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
