My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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