My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
