do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Randomize
