I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
