So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
