I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i dont even know how to be here
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
