i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
