yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We left the knife in your bed.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Randomize
