thus making me awesome and them whores
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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