I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
