she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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