i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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