wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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