mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
