Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
