so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
