i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
