Tell her she can't have a vagina
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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