Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
