Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
