you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
