Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
