Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
