Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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