Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
