Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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